Should You Put Your Spouse’s Name On The Deed To Your House?

February 25th, 2010

If you owned your home prior to your marriage, there are legal consequences to placing your spouse’s name on the deed to your home after your marriage.

Under Georgia law, if you owned your home prior to your marriage and placed your spouse’s name on the deed after your marriage, that is considered a gift from you to the marriage and the entire value of the home becomes marital property.  It does not matter what the reason was for the transfer.

I have seen several cases in which a home is refinanced after a marriage, and the person who owned the home prior to the marriage placed their spouse’s name on the deed as a result of the refinance.  If the parties divorce after the refinance, the entire value of the home is considered marital property.

Before you put your spouse’s name on the deed to the home you owned prior to your marriage, contact an attorney who is knowledgable about family law.  Talk to an attorney about the consequences of putting your spouse’s name on the deed to the home you owned before the marriage, and whether you need a prenuptial or even a postnuptial agreement to make your intentions clear.

Best ways to Keep Connected with Your Kids after Divorce

February 19th, 2010

The following article was written by Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, Founder of Child-Centered Divorce

Divorce is a time for disconnect. It’s not uncommon for you to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children during this time of transition – whether you are living with them or apart.

Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them – during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on them – whether they confide that to you or not.

Here are five important ways to reinforce your connection with the children you love.

1. Connect through notes:

If you’re living together, slip a note in your child’s lunch box or notebook every few days. A quick joke, cartoon, reminder about a special event ahead or just a warm “I Love You!” will let them know they’re on your mind and in your heart. If you’re not spending time together, send an email note or a quick text message to convey that you’re thinking about them.

2. Connect through idle chats:

Take advantage of idle moments here and there when you’re together with your child. Driving in the car is a great time to ask questions, share your feelings, and be empathic about their comments. When you’re helping them with homework, cooking meals together or doing other chores you can strike up a conversation as well. Just be careful not to turn these communications into lectures. You’re there to listen, reflect and learn. If you judge or condemn, you’ll close the door to hearing any more.

3. Connect through bedtime routine:

It’s always wise to create a before bedtime routine with your children that integrates warm connection. Spend time reading books on changing themes, talk about your own childhood memories and challenges. Share your own insecurities and how you overcame them. It’s also beneficial to ask your child about the best part of their day or a new lesson they learned. Bedtime routines help you both unwind and appreciate one another. It also creates a security bond that most children really value.

4. Connect through a new project:

After divorce many things change in a child’s life. It’s a good opportunity to create connection through new projects that take on special meaning. Whether it’s a multi-day puzzle, a plastic model you complete together, new shelves or other decorating project in their bedroom, this shared time is a wonderful time to talk, listen to music and make a stress-free connection.

5. Connect through special dates:

Every now and then create a special outing alone with just one of your children. Take them to lunch, the zoo, a big-city shopping trip, a sports game or a wonderful movie. Children cherish alone time with you and the opportunity to catch up with one another without competition from siblings. Prepare this “date” in advance so you both have something to look forward to. End the date with a token gift as a keepsake “reminder” of your time together.

It doesn’t take a lot of effort to reinforce your connection with your children, especially as you all transition through and after a divorce. It’s the sincerity of your effort, not the money you spend, that impacts their lives and helps them to feel safe, loved and secure despite the changes and challenges created by the divorce.

Connection time will also heighten your awareness about your children’s attitudes, moods and feelings so you can address potential problems early-on before they become serious behavior issues. Create the time to keep connected with your kids. You won’t regret it!

For Rosalind Sedacca’s free articles, ezine and other valuable resources visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com .

How do I figure out how to live on less money after the divorce?

February 14th, 2010

Finding ways to stretch the family dollar is often the most difficult task in adjusting to life post divorce. Here is the start of a guide for beginning the process of adjusting to a new cash flow reality. Create a budget with the goal of achieving the following results.
1. Detail all income and expenses
a. Determine your net disposable income from employment, support and any other sources.
b. Get your checkbook register, checking account statement and credit card receipts.
c. Categorize your expenses into home, food, entertainment, etc. on a monthly basis.
d. Create a separate budget for child related expenses
e. Categorize your expenses between Fixed and Discretionary.
f. Determine your Total Spending.
2. Create guidelines for your spending in each category.
a. Remember these are just guidelines.
b. If you treat them like rules you must follow you will miss the benefit associated with realizing you have made a positive change.
3. Create a snapshot of your financial world.
a. Compare your Net Disposable Income to your Total Spending.
b. Once you have the first snapshot of your income and expenses you can begin planning to make changes.
c. Decide what constitutes a realistic budget.
i. Compare your children’s budget to the National Averages here http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/Publications/CRC/crc2006.pdf
ii. Determine your debt to income ratio by determining what percentage of your monthly income goes to paying debts. If it exceeds 28%; consider trying to reduce your debt load.
d. Find where you can cut discretionary expenses. Discretionary expenses include entertainment and dining out and offer the best source of budget cuts.
Working through this process with a Financial Planner will be helpful even necessary for some folks. You are not alone in your dread for budgeting. Humans are built with the evolutionary skew towards surviving today at the expense of tomorrow.
________________________________________
This checklist was created by Justin Reckers, CFP®, CDFA™, AIF®
Justin is a Managing Director of Pacific Divorce Management; a San Diego based firm specializing in the financial aspects that arise for couples going through a divorce. Justin has developed a passion for guiding people through what can be the most emotionally and financially devastating period in their life. He provides education and support during difficult decision making processes in order to facilitate rational and informed conclusions for clients. Justin also serves as a Financial Planner for Pacific Wealth Management, LLC, a San Diego-based investment management, consulting, and financial planning company where he specializes in comprehensive financial planning. His practice includes a comprehensive post divorce financial planning program for clients dedicated to preparing for financial independence and long term success during the post divorce transition. This program was developed with his Family Law experience in mind having seen the negative effects of lack of follow through.
For more information on Justin Reckers or to get in contact with him, go to his homepage: www.pacdivorce.com

Don’t Miss these Final Financial Details in Divorce

January 31st, 2010

Here are some helpful tips to remember when going through a divorce:

By Lisa C. Decker, CDFA(TM)
 
 
Moving into the next chapter of your life means wrapping up old business so that you can stay focused on the future.  Here are a few helpful tips to make sure that you don’t leave open any doors that really should be closed for good.
 
Some parting items that you and / or your attorney may need to deal with when your divorce decree is handed down.
 
Assets: 
•         Remember to separate all accounts and change titles where applicable.
•         For investment accounts it is most important to change your beneficiary designations as these will override what is written in a will.  If this step is missed your ex could end up with assets you did not intend for them to have.
•         Don’t forget to have your attorney file QDRO’s if you have qualified funds to split as a part of your divorce settlement agreement.
 
Debts / Liabilities:
•         Remember to separate all accounts and change titles where allowed.
•         If  you are still liable for joint debts that could not be separated before the divorce was final, then make it a top priority to get your name removed from as many joint debt accounts as possible now and when able in the future (such as when the primary residence can be refinanced).
•         Make sure to review your credit reports from all three agencies in 3-6 months after the divorce is finalized and correct any errors you may find.
•         Make sure that your divorce decree handles what will be done with any joint taxes that may be owed or refunded.  This includes federal, state, local, property and potentially others.
 
Protection:
•         Be sure to visit an estate planning attorney and have your wills changed.
•         Change beneficiaries on all life insurance policies.  As with investments, these beneficiary designations override a will.
•         Change and remove spouse from other insurance policies – Health, Homeowners, Auto, Umbrella, etc.
 
Support:
•         If you are receiving spousal and child support and need to go back to court to ask for modifications in the future, please beware of the IRS child contingency rules that could put you in a potential tax trap if you are the one paying support.  Make sure to check with your CDFA or CPA if you do ask for a modification around either of these items so you don’t inadvertently end up with a hefty tax bill.
 
These are items that are frequently forgotten amid the turmoil of divorce.  It is vitally important that you follow-up on these things as soon as possible to avoid unintended consequences that can come back to haunt you years later.
 
©2008-2010 Lisa C. Decker, CDFA(TM) All Rights Reserved.
 
Lisa C. Decker, CDFA, is an expert in divorce financial matters as she guides clients to “Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Money(TM).”  To learn industry insider secrets on “How to Avoid Losing Control of Your Mind, Money & Material Possessions in Divorce” so you keep more money in your own pocket when dealing with your spouse, your attorney and Uncle Sam go here:  http://vur.me/dmm/Save-Money-in-Divorce.

Tips To Reduce Stress On Divorced Parents And Their Kids

January 10th, 2010

(NAPSI)-The fact that parents are divorced should not keep special occasions such as holidays and birthdays from being joyous events–if both parents commit to shared planning, scheduling and coordination.
Divorced dad Paul Volker was navigating shared custody with his ex-wife when the stress of the situation inspired him to turn to the Internet for a better solution to their scheduling conflicts.
When he couldn’t find a resource online for divorced parents, he launched OurFamilyWizard.com  to help families reduce stress and manage schedules seamlessly.
The company’s mission is to make communication between divorced parents with shared or joint custody more effective and less stressful for the children. The site offers a neutral location where parents can let down their guard and ultimately do what’s best for their kids.
Top tips divorced parents can follow to help reduce the stress of shared or joint custody include:
• Have a plan and discuss it with your child. Let your kids know where they will be and with whom for upcoming events so they are prepared in advance. The site offers kids access to family information, such as shared calendars, free of charge with a family subscription.
• Keep kids out of the middle. Many divorced parents rely on their children to act as a messenger about changes to visitation schedules and other important matters. It’s the adults’ responsibility to show children they can count on their parents to provide organization, consistency and stability after divorce.
• Provide reassurance. Children of divorced parents need to feel protected and loved. It’s important to provide reassurance and comfort to kids during significant, landmark occasions, such as the holidays and birthdays. Let them know that there is a plan in place and that both parents are on board.
• Use technology to stay organized and keep the peace. Planning and scheduling through a neutral Internet site allows divorced parents to communicate with each other without the need to pick up the phone. It’s a secure and fair way for both parents to participate in the process away from the children. The site features shared family calendars, protected message boards, notifications and reminders, a family journal, information management and an expense log.
Visit OurFamilyWizard.com for more information.

Grandparents’ Rights In Georgia

January 4th, 2010

As a domestic relations attorney in Georgia, I often receive inquiries as to the rights of grandparents in that State.  Generally, theses inquiries relate to three specific situations: grandparents wanting visitation rights to grandchildren; grandparents wanting custody of grandchildren; and grandparents merely wanting power of attorney or formal guardianship to temporarily care for grandchildren.

 While it is the express policy of the State of Georgia to encourage contact between grandchildren and grandparents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of the children, in the State of Georgia grandparents have limited rights to grandchildren.  In the case of visitation rights, a grandparent may petition a Georgia superior court for visitation rights to grandchildren only in the instance in which a custody, visitation, divorce, or termination of parental rights case regarding the children is already pending, or whenever there has been an adoption in which the adopted child has been adopted by the child’s blood relative or by a stepparent.  In such a situation, a Georgia superior court may grant any grandparent reasonable visitation rights if the court finds the health or welfare of the child would be harmed unless such visitation is granted, and if the best interests of the child would be served by such visitation. In Georgia there is no presumption in favor of visitation by any grandparent.  Grandparents in Georgia may not file an original action for visitation where the parents of the minor child are not separated and the child is living with both of the parents; parents that are married and living together have the right to deny grandparents visitation with the child.  In the case an adoption petition filed by a blood relative or stepparent, a grandparent who has already been awarded visitation rights may intervene and object to the adoption of a child, and in that case the Georgia superior court may deny the adoption or grant the adoption but continue the grandparents’ formal visitation rights.

 Grandparents in Georgia wishing to obtain custody of their grandchildren as opposed to visitation rights may file an original action for custody in Superior Court, and may be granted custody if the court hearing the issue of custody, in the exercise of its sound discretion and taking into consideration all the circumstances of the case, determines that an award of custody to the grandparent is in the best interest of the child or children and will best promote their welfare and happiness. In Georgia there is a rebuttable presumption that it is in the best interest of the child or children for custody to be awarded to the parent or parents, but this presumption may be overcome by a showing by the grandparent that an award of custody to the grandparent is in the best interest of the child or children. The sole issue for determination in this type of case is what is in the best interest of the child or children.  If a grandparent feels that they can show a Georgia superior court that it is in the best interest of the child that custody be removed from a parent and awarded to the grandparent, the grandparent may file a custody action regardless if the parents are married and living together.

 In the case of a grandparent in Georgia who needs to care for grandchildren temporarily with the permission of a parent but does not want formal visitation rights or custody to grandchildren, the parent may delegate to the grandparent residing in Georgia caregiving authority regarding the minor child when hardship prevents the parent from caring for the child. This authority may be delegated without the approval of a Georgia court by executing in writing a power of attorney for the care of a minor child in a form substantially complying with the laws of Georgia.  A parent may automatically terminate the authority delegated to the grandparent by notifying the grandparent by certified or overnight mail.  The authority to designate a grandparent to act on behalf of a minor child is in addition to any other lawful action a parent may take for the benefit of the minor child, and the parent shall continue to have the right to medical, dental, mental health, and school records pertaining to the minor child.  One step further in this type of case is for the grandparent to petition for formal guardianship of the grandchild in a Georgia Probate court; this is a formal, court-ordered relationship as opposed to a non-court ordered relationship.  In Georgia, formal guardianships are granted only with the permission of both living parents and they may be terminated by the filing by the parent of a request to end the guardianship and in that case the Georgia Probate Court would determine whether it is in the best interest of the child to terminate the formal guardianship.

 All visitation, custody, and guardianship cases in Georgia must be filed in the county in which the current legal custodian resides.

Helping Divorced Parents To Communicate

October 25th, 2009

Check out the following website, which helps divorced parents communicate regarding their children and offers software aimed at facilitating communication and eliminating the emotional component of dealing with finances, scheduling and communication: //www.allaboutthechildren.us/.  The software helps parents communicate about anything regarding their children, including school and extracurricular actvities and special events, news, parenting time, and even finances related to the children.

Collaborative Divorce

September 14th, 2009

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative law is an emerging alternative to traditional divorce. Through this process, couples work together with the support of experienced professionals to settle their divorce out of court in a manner that is best for their family, minimizing a divorce’s cost and time.

The Collaborative Law Process
Collaborative law is an innovative approach to resolving a divorce in a cooperative and non-litigious environment. All parties agree at the onset to avoid litigation and fully disclose all assets, liabilities, and other relevant information. During the process, the couple works with a team of professionals to resolve divorce related issues.

The primary players are the spouses, divorce coaches, neutral child specialists, and neutral financial planners. The child specialists help the parties create a parenting plan addressing the issues of custody and parenting time. The financial planners address the financial issues involved in alimony, property division, and debt division. The divorce coaches help support and guide the parties through the emotional aspect of divorce.

While collaborative law attempts to reduce the participation of lawyers in the actual negotiation process, they still play an important role in the overall process. They deal with emergency custody issues and financial issues and are available to answer legal questions throughout the process. After the collaborative law process is complete, the attorneys review and draft the settlement and divorce agreement and present it before a family court judge for approval.

Collaborative Practice is a reasonable, respectful approach to divorce based on three principles:
• A pledge not to go to court
• An honest exchange of information
• A solution that takes into account the highest priorities of both spouses and children
Collaborative Practice is designed to protect the interests of children and help the spouses move forward with new lives. The process emphasizes cooperating to find solutions built on mutual areas of agreement.

Divorce usually involves many considerations, including concern for children and financial and property matters. Managing the overall emotional impact can be difficult. For that reason, Collaborative Practice offers a support approach to the parties. You and your lawyer work as a team. Other professionals including divorce coaches, child specialists, and financial consultants can become part of the team. The benefit of this approach is that experts in their respective fields assist the parties in finding constructive solutions to deal with divorce’s wide ranging issues and establishing goals for the future.

Divorce ends a marriage but does not sever family ties or relationships. When children are involved, lifelong responsibilities remain. By preserving respect and encouraging cooperation, Collaborative Practice helps parents and children keep family bonds while embracing new lives, and encouraging a compassionate ending to a marriage and a healthy new beginning.

Roles of the Collaborative Practice Professionals
Lawyers
Lawyers begin the collaborative process by explaining the Collaborative contract, and continue in the process by advising on matters of the law.

Divorce Coach
Divorce is a major life transition, marking the end of one part of your life, and the beginning of another. A divorce coach helps you manage the emotional aspect of this time and helps keep the focus on goals for the present and future. Working with you to make the most of your strengths, divorce coaches assist you to be at your best during this process, which facilitates clear decision-making and taking positive steps into a new life.

Financial Consultant
A divorce agreement can determine your financial well being for many years to come. It is critical that a financial agreement be appropriately structured. The guidance of a financial neutral helps the parties with developing viable financial options for their future. Your lawyer works with you and your financial neutral to incorporate a comprehensive financial plan into the divorce agreement.

Child Specialist
Children may suffer the most from a divorce, and be least able to understand or express their feelings. One goal of Collaborative Practice is to ensure that children are a priority. The child specialist is a skilled in understanding children and meets with your children (if appropriate and based on age and circumstances of the case) and assists them in expressing their feelings and concerns. The child specialist communicates the children’s feeling, concerns, and hopes to the team for consideration when planning for the children’s futures. The child specialist works in conjunction with the divorce coaches to help structure a parenting plan the best suits the needs of the children.

Georgia Unmarried Fathers — Do You Know Your Rights?

July 13th, 2009

 Some of the most heartbreaking cases I’ve had are those of fathers not married to their child’s mother and not realizing that they have to take steps to secure their legal rights to the child.  In Georgia, an unmarried father has no rights to his child at all unless and until he either marries the mother and publicly claims the child as his own and gives the child his name or files a petition in court to legitimate the child.  Until one of these two events happen, the mother has all parental control over the child and the father has no rights.

 I have had several cases in which the unmarried parents of a child live together for a period of time as a family, and then the parents decide to separate.  If the father has not legitimated his child, he has no rights and the mother legally can prevent the father from contact with the child.  While this may seem morally wrong, it is legally permissible.
 What can unmarried fathers do in order to protect their rights?  As soon as the child is born the father should file a petition to legitimate the child; he should do this regardless of whether he is living with the child’s mother.  If there is any doubt as to paternity, a DNA test should be completed prior to the filing of the legitimation petition.

 Custody, parenting time (visitation), and child support can be addressed in a legitimation action.  An unmarried father of a child can secure his custodial rights (including parenting time) by filing a petition for legitimation; doing so will provide the father with custodial rights and a court-ordered parenting time schedule that the father may rely on even in periods of disagreement with the child’s mother.  Upon receiving an order of legitimation, the biological father of a child is recognized as the legal father and stands on the same legal footing as the mother in regard to custodial and parenting time rights.

 In Georgia, there is a difference between being the biological father and the legal father of a child.  Having the status of only the biological father does not provide the father with any rights.  It does not matter if the father paid for the pregnancy and maternity care of the mother, was at the birth of the child, and signed the birth certificate.  It does not matter if the parents lived together as a family with the child and the father supported the mother and child for several years.  If the father does not marry the mother, the only means by which the father can have any legal rights to the child is to file a legitimation petition.  A child who has been legitimated by his or her father may inherit from the father, whereas a child that has not been legitimated might not legally be able to inherit from the father; this is extremely important legal distinction that could have unintended or devastating consequences.

 At a minimum, a biological father should list his name on the putative father registry with the Department of Human Resources/Vital Records.  By taking that act, the biological father can at least ensure that no legal action such as adoption can be taken by another party without notice to the father.  A listing on the putative father registry does not provide legal rights as far as custody and parenting time, but it does prevent legal action regarding the child to be taken without notice to the father.  In order to successfully object to any such legal action once he has notice, the father would likely have to follow through with a legitimation petition, but at least he will have the opportunity to protect his rights.

 A biological father does not have an absolute right to legitimate his child.  It is possible for a father to lose his right to legitimate his child if he waits too long in order to procure his legal rights.  There is no set time limit after which a father automatically loses his rights, but the longer the father goes without legitimating the child the higher the risk that he has abandoned his opportunity interest to develop a relationship with the child, and his legitimation petition could be denied.

 An unmarried father who wishes to have legal rights to his child and to stand on the same legal ground with the mother regarding custody and parenting time must file a legitimation petition, and should do so immediately after the child’s birth regardless of his relationship with the mother or the fact that he might be living with and/or supporting the child.  Biological fathers of children born out of wedlock should seek legal advice as soon as possible in order to protect their rights and make sure that they are legally able to maintain their relationship with the child.

Georgia courts may consider a divorcing couple’s entire relationship, including premarital cohabitation, when deciding the issue of alimony

June 11th, 2009

On June 1, 2009, the Supreme Court of Georgia held that the length of a divorcing couple’s entire relationship, including the time they cohabitated together before they were ceremonially married, could be considered when ruling on the wife’s request for alimony.  The parties had actually been married and divorced and began living together after their divorce.   The couple married for a second time after living together after their first divorce.  During the second divorce proceedings, the trial court seemed to consider the entire amount of time the parties spent together, even including their first marriage, when deciding the issue of alimony.  The husband appealed the case to the Georgia Supreme Court, and that Court ruled that the trial court was free to consider the parties’ entire relationship, even the period before the ceremonial marriage, when awarding alimony and the court’s discretion included consideration of the length of the parties’ premarital cohabitation.